Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction Stigma: A Guide for Australian Men

Many men put off seeing a doctor about erectile dysfunction (ED) because they feel embarrassed. That’s understandable, but ED is common, doctors talk about it every day, and getting help early can make a real difference to your health and relationships. This guide covers why ED carries stigma, how to start the conversation with a doctor or partner, and what to expect from a consultation.

You’re not the only one

ED is one of the most common sexual health concerns men have. According to healthdirect, more than 1 in 10 males cannot have erections, and it becomes more common with age. Yet many men never mention it to a doctor. For them, the problem can go on for years, along with any health condition behind it.

For an overview of what ED is and how it’s treated, see Erectile dysfunction in Australia: causes and when to get help.

Why ED feels hard to talk about

Common reasons men give for staying quiet include:

• Ideas about masculinity. Many men grow up linking erections with being “a real man”, so ED can feel like a personal failure. It isn’t. It’s a health issue, like high blood pressure.
• Embarrassment. Talking about sex with anyone, even a doctor, can feel awkward.
• Hoping it will go away. Sometimes it does, especially if it’s linked to a stressful period. But if it keeps happening, waiting rarely helps.
• Worry about what it means. Some men fear it means their relationship is in trouble, or that something is seriously wrong.
• Not knowing it’s treatable. Many causes of ED can be addressed once they’re identified.

Why it’s worth speaking up

• Your general health. ED can be an early sign of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. Raising it gives your GP a chance to check for these.
• Your mental health. ED can affect confidence and mood, and stress or low mood can make ED worse. Breaking that cycle helps both.
• Your relationship. Unspoken worries can create distance with a partner. Dealing with ED openly often brings people closer.
• Options exist. Depending on the cause, a doctor may suggest lifestyle changes, changes to current medicines, counselling or prescription treatment if clinically appropriate.

How to bring it up with a doctor

You don’t need special words. Doctors hear about ED often and won’t be shocked. Some ways to start:

• “I’ve been having trouble with erections and I’d like to talk about it.”
• “Things haven’t been working properly in the bedroom for a few months.”
• “I’ve read that ED can be linked to heart health and I’d like a check-up.”

It can help to think about these questions beforehand, as your doctor may ask them:

• When did the problem start, and did it come on suddenly or gradually?
• Does it happen every time, or only sometimes or with a partner?
• Do you still get erections on waking?
• Has your sex drive changed?
• How have your mood, stress levels and sleep been?
• What medicines, supplements, alcohol, smoking or recreational drugs do you use?

Be as honest as you can. Everything you say is confidential, and accurate information helps your doctor find the cause and choose safe treatment.

Talking to your partner

If you have a partner, ED affects them too. Many partners worry that they’re the cause. A few tips:

• Choose a calm, private moment, not in the middle of sex.
• Explain that ED is a common health issue and that you’re getting it checked.
• Reassure them that it isn’t about how you feel about them.
• Remember that intimacy isn’t only about erections. Taking the pressure off often helps.
• Consider inviting them to be part of the conversation with your doctor, or to see a counsellor together if relationship stress is involved.

What happens in a telehealth consultation

For many men, a phone or video consultation feels easier than sitting in a waiting room. A typical consultation involves:

1. A private conversation about your symptoms, health history, medicines and lifestyle.
2. Checking for underlying causes. Your doctor may arrange blood tests and suggest a blood pressure check.
3. Talking through options that suit you, which may include lifestyle changes, counselling, or prescription treatment if clinically appropriate.
4. Next steps, such as follow-up, a specialist referral, or advice to see a GP in person if you need a physical examination.

Some men need an in-person examination, for example if they have pain, a curve or lump in the penis, or symptoms that suggest a hormone or nerve problem. Your doctor will tell you if this applies.

A word of caution about buying online

It can be tempting to skip the conversation and buy products online. Products sold outside the regulated system may contain undeclared or incorrect ingredients and may not be safe, especially with heart conditions or certain heart medicines. A doctor can make sure any treatment is right for you.

When to get urgent help

Call 000 or go to your nearest emergency department if you have chest pain or shortness of breath (including during or after sex), an erection lasting more than 3 to 4 hours, or sudden severe pain or swelling of the penis after an injury.

If ED is affecting your mood and you’re feeling low or hopeless, help is available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 any time.

How Teldoc can help

Our AHPRA-registered GPs offer confidential phone and video consultations, 7 days a week from 9 am to 7 pm (Sydney time), with most patients seen within 15 minutes. Your doctor can assess your symptoms, arrange tests, prescribe treatment if clinically appropriate with an eScript sent to your phone, and refer you to a specialist or psychologist where needed.

ED consultations are a private fee: $55 on weekdays and $75 on weekends and public holidays, with no Medicare rebate. See our fees page, read about erectile dysfunction treatment online, or learn more about the causes of ED.

Frequently asked questions

Is it embarrassing to talk to a doctor about ED?

Many men feel that way, but doctors discuss ED regularly and treat it like any other health issue. You can start simply by saying you’ve been having trouble with erections.

Can I talk to a doctor about ED by phone or video?

Yes. A GP can usually assess ED by phone or video, arrange tests and prescribe treatment if clinically appropriate. They’ll let you know if you need to be examined in person.

Should I tell my partner about ED?

It often helps. Partners may worry they’re the cause. Explaining that ED is a common health issue and that you’re getting it checked can ease pressure for both of you.

Is my ED consultation confidential?

Yes. Consultations are private and confidential, and your doctor will only share information with others, such as a specialist, with your consent or where the law requires it.

This article is general health information and isn’t a substitute for advice from your own doctor. If you’re worried about your health, speak to a GP. In an emergency, call 000.

Medically reviewed by Dr Vafa Derakshan (MBBS, FRACGP), September 2026